About a boy

I met a nice guy today at the hospital. Nice as in, attractive. There I was, having a ho hum kind of morning, the ED was as slow as all get out, and I was staring blankly at my computer screen. I notice a car drive by, park, and in walks this guy with a stethoscope draped around his neck, white polo top tucked into blue Dickie's. Wait. That outfit is familiar....it's a EMT clinical uniform.

So, he walks in and introduces himself. We make small talk and I casually let it slide in that "hey, I'm an EMT. And not only that, I'm IV certified" thus upping my cool factor.

The day goes by, the ED is slow, and we make small talk on and off most of the day. The more we talk, the more I think to myself "hey, this guy is kinda cute" but alas, when that thought crosses my mind, I am then officially unable to act like a cool, or normal human being. Out the door goes suave Sarah and in walks Sarah the walking, talking, awkward specimen of a woman.

I'd say though that I kept my cool while we talked....or flirted (according to my co-workers). But as we were discussing vital signs, a Nurse told him to go check his own vitals with one of those machines you get hooked up to in a hospital.

I tag along, and we finally get his pulse oximetry level and pulse rate displayed on the screen. A cool 90% pulse ox level and a nice 50 beats per minute heart rate. The nurse walks in, we get her vitals, and she too is in the normal range. Sensing that it could soon be my turn, I go to leave the room because I hate having my vitals taken by an attractive male. But then he says "Hey Sarah! Let's see yours!!"

Minutes later, my vitals are on the screen.


Pulse ox: 98% Good.
Heart rate: 130. WHAT?!? NO!!! SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG!! IT MUST BE BROKEN!!!

Maybe the machine was malfunctioning. Maybe I was that tachycardic. Maybe I can't function normally around attractive males. And you know what he says? "Maybe Betty (the nurse) makes you nervous"

Ack.

After that awkward dilemma, we talk some more, I help him print out some stuff, he tells me I'm cool, blah blah blah, and then comes time for him to leave.

Last time for a good impression.

I'm standing there, being cool with some co-workers. He walks up, and says that it was nice to meet me and that he'll "see me soon"

He will? 

Out of all the normal, cool person responses one could think up, I instead come off as a major loser.

I say: "When?" but according to the laughs of my co workers, it came across more like:
"WHEN?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" 

Fail. 


He said he'd be back for a second clinical next month, so maybe, just maybe I'll have a chance to redeem myself. But maybe not.

 

Epistaxis

The past three days, I've had a bloody nose. But the term "bloody nose" does not even begin to describe the amount of blood loss that I have undergone. Suffice it to say, it looks like my home has undergone a small massacre.

So, I went to the doctor today. And, the diagnosis was: my nose is "fried"

My jovial practitioner thus prescribed me some nose spray and.....KY Jelly.

He made it into a joke, and wrote on the tube:
Not for internal use, and told me that I'm "bound to get married some day"

?!?
Oh, awkward.

Thyroid Transplant!

Text  message convesation with a friend:

Me: I think my thyroid is on the fritz again
Friend: You should get a new one
Me: Thryoid transplant....yes!
Friend: How much is that usually?
Me: Impossible actually...
Friend: Oh. I knew that.

:)