Tuesday, February 15, 2011

On the brink

So there I was, tra-la-la-ing along, entering a commonly known store. A day like any other, I had just successfully completed my first microbiology exam, and had finished a rather pleasant meeting with a friend.

The sun was shining, the weather was warm, I was happy.

As I'm entering the store, intent on getting a few items, an employee approaches me, waving and smiling.


Now this man has occasionally tried to converse with me, and sometimes I've gotten the impression that he thinks we know each other. We do not.

I try to go on my way, but he blocks me, and grabs my hand. He doesn't let go readily. I had to pry my digits away from this insane man.

Going from bad to worse, he hugs me.


I try, oh I try to pull away. But this guy isn't letting go anytime soon. So, I pull back, stepping back. I'm trying to run away, trying to move. but he won't let me.

HELP! 911! Axe murderer!

He starts talking, asking how I've been. I tell him I'm great, busy with school.

Meanwhile, my mind is racing, thinking of ways I can run away.

Suddenly, I get a text! He starts laughing and says "Ghost Buster's theme? I like it!"

....except that I don't have a Ghost Buster themed text message sound on my phone.

I keep ending the conversation, trying to walk away, but he's literally trying to keep me there, even introducing himself to me, and shaking and not letting go of my hand.

Literally pulling away from his grasp I turn in a last ditch effort to get away from him, I start walking. He meanwhile says it was "great seeing me". Speed walking away (running would look too frantic, but in hindsight, perhaps I should have), I quickly breeze through the store, thoroughly disgusted, grossed out, and creeped out (among many, MANY other things) and buy hand sanitizer. I put so much on that I actually rubbed some on my face just to kill any microbes from Mister Creeper.


So two options here:

I'm getting a body guard
I'm moving to the middle of no where and never leaving my home. Ever. Ever.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Just in time for Valentines day!!!

The semester is off to a rip-roaring start.

My lab partner in microbiology has a bit of what you would call an attitude and spends most of our lab days arguing with the instructor and getting annoyed at the world of microscopic entities. In addition, she admits she's a "terrible lab partner" because of her "impatience", but that's beside the point. I'm used to her yelling at me, and then asking if we can hang out sometime. She also told me last week that she "has a lot of hate in her heart", but don't worry folks, we've discovered that she does much better if she steps out and smokes as I set up the experiment on our bi-weekly lab days. No biggie.

But the biggest--and best event thus far of the semester is the addition of my newest friend, a short in stature somewhat pudgy man directly from Africa. His accent is so thick I scarcely can understand a word that he is saying, and I oftentimes find myself mindlessly nodding to whatever he says to give the impression that I am pleasantly polite. But it's getting better.

By now, if you've read some of my adventures, you should know that I often find myself in unique and strange situations. Never once have I initiated contact with this man, but wouldn't you know; I think I've got a new admirer.

It began with a whole lot of staring. I'm lucky because this man is in all my classes, so I get the opportunity to get stared at a lot by him. It's like a set routine: wake up, drive to school, go to class, get stared at, drive home.


But one day as I entered my micro classroom early, so early there was only two other people including my African pal, he says to me:
"How is she?!?"

I look around. She?

I ask him to repeat himself, and he gestures towards me and says "how is she?!?"

Aah. She. Me. Of course. I respond that I am well, and then sit down directly two rows and diagonal to where he sits. Plenty of time to have the back of my head studied!

Shortly before class begins, a hand taps my shoulder. I turn around, slightly spooked because well, I don't really like people touching me when I don't expect it.

Anyhow, it's my new pal, telling me that I've dropped my scarf, but that's he retrieved it for me.

Be still my beating heart.

A few days later, there we are in class, my "heart full of hate" lab partner in full fledged fury because the bacteria we had tried to grow was a complete and utter failure.

I make way to the back of the classroom to wash my hands, and am stopped by my comrade who asks me how the bacterial growth experiment is going. I explain that it is not so good; no microbes were able to be viewed.

He then tells me that:

"I am so pure" that if we as a class were to do a buccal swab (cheek swab) that there would be absolutely nothing to be seen under the microscope. You see friends, I am apparently without germs. Without cells. Without.....anything but purity.

Dot, dot, dot.

I mean really, what do you say to that? "Gee thanks!" or "glad you think so!"

The weekend passes, and here I am, back in school today on an arctic cold, snowy day.

Side note and random Sarah fact: When I get super cold, my lips turn blue. Yes, blue. No lie. It's really attractive looking.

But anyhow, my micro teacher lectures for a million hours about the electron transport chain and then at long last, we get a ten minute break. Seizing the opportunity, I step out into the hall to get a drink of my fantastic ice tea.

No bueno. Old cohort is there, looking at the window. Right next to my bottle. Can I drink it real quick without him noticing me? Should I turn the other direction?

Alas, my thinking was not quick enough.

He asks me if I am warm. I reply "no, I am cold", easily seen through my blue lips and crossed arms, trying desperately to maintain body heat. It is a battle I am always losing.

He tells me that I live in the wrong area. A chuckle is shared. He tells me that I would "really like Africa" and proceeds to tell me how in Africa, you can be "warm and hot at the same time" and just continually pour out sweat from every area of the body that is capable of sweating.

I stare blankly at him. He gathers that sweating profusely is not my idea of paradise. He then asks me, what weather do I crave? I reply simply that the weather I like is one where I can wear a short sleeve shirt without being cold. I'm not asking for the world here.

He asks where I live. I tell him. He then proceeds to tell me how he would really like to visit my town.

Another moment of silence ensues.

He asks how to pronounce my name. Is it pronounced "Sar-ha or "Sar-ah" ? I tell him how I typically pronounce my name, but tell him that how other's pronounce my name is completely up to them. He tells me that he will make sure to pronounce my name correctly and will be sure to always remember it.

As our conversation goes on, (bet you didn't know that ten minutes could go on so long) another girl joins our conversation. I want to hug her.

He asks, looking pointedly at me, how we study. The girl who has joined the conversation says she only studies alone because group studying is only for people who are slacking off in class and whom are looking for all the answers without any of the work. I'm somewhat inclined to agree, and pipe in how I really don't enjoy the people who, ten minutes before the exam, ask for deep and complex subjects to be explained in total and complete detail.

This makes him laugh. And laugh and laugh and then he tells me how funny I am. True. I am pretty hilarious.


Making our way back into the classroom, we sit for another thirty hours as it's explained how to identify the bacteria of the family enterobacteriaceae. In case you're dying to know what that is: (http://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/enterobacteriaceae)

At long last, we set up for the experiment, and in a moment of pure love, he hands me the distilled water we'll need for the experiment. I say "for me?" and he tells me "Of course. Who else?"

I think I'm the luckiest woman possibly ever.

Try not to be jealous.