I'm disgusting

Everyone does it. 

I know I'm not alone.

Have you ever purposefully avoided someone? Pretended you didn't see them or worse yet, seen someone you really didn't want to see and ran away from them, fast as your little legs can carry you? Twice in the last thirty days, an individual (whom I considered myself friends with) has ran for the hills upon realizing that I was in the same room as them. What I have done to them, I cannot fathom. It's awkward. I mean, what do you do about that? "Hey pal! Where ya headed off to?"

But, what goes around, comes around. 

There are two extremes that you ought to know about me. The first is, if I see you, and I really want to talk to you, I will turn into something akin to this picture on your right.

However, if I really don't want to see you, this is what will happen:

The above is an example of what I tried to accomplish this morning. I saw someone today that admittedly, I didn't really feel like talking to. So, I made a joke out of it, largely because that's how I handle awkward moments. I laughed, they laughed, and we all went on our way, laughing. No harm done. Right?

WRONG.

An hour later, I get a text from the person in question. 

The following is verbatim, spelling errors and all.


"Si for now, u pretty much said I'm disgusting uh?"


I thought he was joking, really I did. So I texted back:

"Unfortunately. Sad day." 
Okay, so in hindsight, this was not an intelligent response. Shoot me.


You ready for his response?

"Well, in that case u maybe the one disgusting, but ur not able to see it, and u think that other people is, I think you need to see ur doctor"


?!? 


Moving on with my day, I see my old African friend. (read this if you are confused) . After telling me how much he appreciates that I am always happy amidst all the unhappy people that he interacts with, he tells me, solemnly:


"You deserve everything you want. I'm serious. You'll get it."


You hear that, guys? I'm going to get everything I want! I'm making my list now!